May 2012
2 posts
May 15th
84 notes
May 3rd
53,218 notes
April 2012
2 posts
Apr 27th
667 notes
1 tag
Apr 9th
4,722 notes
March 2012
2 posts
Mar 6th
394 notes
Mar 2nd
February 2012
2 posts
3 tags
Feb 29th
13 notes
Feb 13th
267 notes
January 2012
1 post
Listentimheidecker: Madonna’s Super Bowl Song...
Jan 30th
1,105 notes
October 2011
1 post
3 tags
Oct 28th
99 notes
September 2011
5 posts
2 tags
ADD
My ADD is totally keeping me from… uhhhh… I’m hungry.
Sep 21st
7 notes
2 tags
Sep 15th
2 notes
3 tags
Sep 9th
22 notes
4 tags
Independent arm
The “independent” arm of the Food Network is called “Food Network Organics”. They release smaller run dishes and underground recipes.
Sep 8th
1 tag
jameshance: Wizards refer to Disney’s Magic Kingdom as ‘Disney’s Regular Kingdom’.
Sep 7th
34 notes
July 2011
1 post
3 tags
Jul 18th
2 notes
June 2011
2 posts
3 tags
Jun 29th
10,110 notes
3 tags
Ensly Mogul Tumblr →
I would love if you followed this Tumblr and shared with friends. It’s all space and ufo and electro space tunes.
Jun 8th
2 notes
May 2011
1 post
1 tag
Q+A vol.8
Q: Where do you go when you run out of chess pieces? A: The Pawn Shop.
May 20th
1 note
April 2011
3 posts
Apr 15th
Apr 14th
1 tag
Apr 13th
February 2011
1 post
Q+A vol.7
Q: What’s the quickest way to spice up your meal? A: Pepper Spray.
Feb 11th
January 2011
2 posts
Oneliner #9
My cheese grater gave my limburger a C.
Jan 28th
1 note
Q+A vol.6
Q: Who invented the food dish “Baba Ganoush”. A: Robert (Bobby) Ganoush.
Jan 27th
1 note
December 2010
2 posts
Feral Celebs.
Was Will Ferrell actually raised by wolves in the wild? Or am I thinking of Pharrell Williams?
Dec 7th
KING OF BEES
risingtensions: via brx0
Dec 2nd
622 notes
November 2010
5 posts
Soda Jokes
- I’m a Mountain Do, not a Mountain Don’t. - It Sprite out here, even with all the Sierra Mist. - Nurse Salt, Resident Cumin, E M Turmeric (varieties of Dr. Pepper) - I don’t want any ick water, much less a ton of it. - The tide is High Fructose Corn Syrup on the Pep Sea today. After this post I hope to be an official member of Club Soda.
Nov 30th
Philosophy Thought #1
I think it’s called surfing because once you start you become a “slave” to the wave.
Nov 24th
1 note
Q+A vol.5
Q. If you owned a van, what kind of van would it be? A. A Halen, no wait, I think I would prefer a Morrison.
Nov 23rd
Daily Meme (vol. 1 (may be the only volume?!)) →
Don’t forget to check out today’s meme. It’s all about this Maury Tumblr.
Nov 23rd
Barn
Barn is a great word. If it were a name it would be short for Barnyard. for example: “Hi Barn” said Barry as Barnyard Jones Jr. waked by.
Nov 19th
October 2010
2 posts
Q+A vol.4
Q. What do you drink if you can’t afford Goldschlager? A. Copperschlager.
Oct 20th
1 note
Q+A vol.3
Q. What’s your favorite TV show about Ravers? A. “That’s So Raven”
Oct 18th
August 2010
4 posts
Q+A vol.2
Q. What’s your favorite movie about food? A. Raisin Arizona.
Aug 30th
Q+A vol.1
Q. What’s the opposite of a Sloppy Joe? A. A Tidy Ryan.
Aug 26th
Oops.
I put up some info in the classifieds. Bad move. Now everyone can see it. They should call it the de-classifieds.
Aug 10th
WatchWatch
It’s just so true.
Aug 4th
June 2010
2 posts
WatchWatch
I think we can all learn a little bit about comedy from this guy. So “off the wall” and “ahead” of his time. Thanks Starsearch, and Found Footage Fest.
Jun 10th
Oneliner #9
Apple just came out with a new recipe, the iPad Thai.
Jun 5th
May 2010
5 posts
V-Neck!
We all love our V-neck shirts, but I want a Q-neck or W-neck shirt. When will AmAppy start selling those? H-neck would be great too.
May 26th
Handy
I usually prefer to do things by hand. But sometimes I do them by mind, or foot.
May 25th
Mr. Bubble
I can’t believe the creators of Mr. Bubble still haven’t created a bubble bath that ladies can use. Ms. (or Mrs.) Bubble can’t be that hard to invent. Sexist jerks.
May 21st
My Top 8: Niche Restaurant Names
Chai and Chives Nana’s Bananas Powders Only! Invisi-foods Kevin Spacie’s Moon Pies and Astronaut Creams. Pancake Island (an actual island made of a pancake, fun for kids) Atomic Atom’s Apples The Fixslow Breakfast Cafe
May 19th
Bathroom.
Just went to the restroom while reading a math book. Took a crapazoid.
May 10th
April 2010
6 posts
Prestigious
Someday I will be a wealthy detective and live in the prestigious gated community known as “The Sherlock Homes”.
Apr 30th
Free consulting for linkedin.com
What you guys need is a new mascot. And I got it here just for you. Abraham Linkedin.
Apr 24th
Oneliner #8
Earth Day is cool, but I prefer Mars Day.
Apr 22nd
Produce
Someone’s grandmother should open up a banana stand and call it Nana’s Bananas.
Apr 21st
The Best Invention.
And then it came to me as I starred at the uneven walls of my turn-of-the-century abode. The invention that will put me on the map will not be a simple “fad” or “fool notion”. No, this invention will change the world. As a fellow inventor once told me, “Of all of Invention’s most natural necessities, the most important is time”, and that’s when it...
Apr 6th